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Sarah Virginia Ray © Grace Memorial Chapel 09-2011 Submitted by: Jo Aguirre
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On a frigid morning, January 4, 1995 Sarah Virginia Ray danced her way into our life. When she was born, she was whisked away because she was so sick. On September 23, 2011, she was once again whisked away from us. Sarah was a very good baby who seldom cried. She had a soft voice and spoke very quickly and slurred. She couldnt say her big sisters name and called her Bludderline.
From the time that she was an infant she rocked herself. When she was big enough to kick her leg, she rocked herself in her car seat and would sit up and rock so hard in her crib that she would move it away from the wall. Her rocking chair sits empty by her mothers piano, having been rocked in by Sarah for the last time, the night before she left us.
Several years ago, Larry Desbien took Sarahs mom and all three girls on a date. The girls loved him instantly and he promised that he would be a positive influence in their lives. After returning from their honeymoon, Sarah, ever the analyzer and actionist, sat Larry down and asked if she could call him dad. He kept his promise to her and was always fair and patient, taking her on trips and to concerts and art exhibits and IMAX movies.
Sarah grew up in Blackwell and Ponca City and loved people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and backgrounds. She was an advocate against social labels and refused to allow them to determine whether or not she was going to love a person. And she didnt just like people, she loved them fiercely.
She loved the nighttime, music, the army, her middle name, her grandmother, dancing, apples, driving and purple. She loathed society, the government, prejudice, therapy, weird flavored ice cream which included anything but chocolate and snitches. She collected quotes, photographs and the hearts of all who stumbled across her.
She and her sisters went to several schools following her mothers teaching career that included Kaw City and McCord. In Ponca City, she attended East and West. In Blackwell she attended Washington Center, Huston Center, Blackwell Middle School, and Blackwell High School. Sarah was currently a junior at DCLA High school.
Never one to be merely an onlooker at life, Sarah actively sought out new experiences. She had been in 4H and FFA while in Blackwell and had the opportunity to show pigs thanks to her sisters father, Robert Neumayer. She was in band and played the flute.
She had played softball serving her various teams as pitcher and catcher. After taking a line drive to the face that left her unconscious, she returned to the mound the following night after informing her coach that if she waited she might not do it again at all. Typical Sarah, looking the fear in the face and telling it, No sir, not today will you beat me.
She spoke fluent Spanish and was learning to play the guitar. She had recently expressed an interest in learning the piano. She was an avid writer and had won awards for her prose. She and her mother had been discussing an essay that she was currently writing on their morning drives to Lamont.
From the day that Sarah was born, she had an old soul and was a full time world observer, brewer, and mullingoverer of deep thoughts, creative ideas, and big problems. Sarah struggled with depression in her life and often felt very doubtful of her own worth. After years of therapy, Sarah had found a very sacred place to live her last days. Six weeks before her death, her mother started teaching at Lamont and told Sarah, This is the place for us. Please come and look at it. Sarah came to the school and visited with Michael Thompson, the principal, who was able to sell it to her. She started the next day. It was a magical and beautiful time for her as the students and adults welcomed her with open arms and hearts.
The night before she died, she and her mother went on a midnight excursion in which Sarah learned to drive the standard. At the beginning she said that it was the worst experience ever. As they turned on to her street, Sarah said, Can you believe how I am rocking it The two of them pulled out the hideaway couch and sat up until 3 am talking.
The last day of her life was the most beautiful and perfect day ever. That morning as she stood in the bathroom, her mom took a quiet moment to hug her from behind as Sarah leaned her head on her moms cheek. No words just love. As they were leaving the house, Sarahs mom grabbed a CD and popped in the player in the car. Without knowing it, her mom had picked up the CD that Sarah had recently been listening to. Sarah asked for the song about all the people and her mom put it on Imagine by John Lennon as sung by Eva Cassidy. They listened to it several times with Sarah singing. Also on the drive to school they discussed the essay once again and Emily and Sarah discussed how they were going to wear their hair. Several friends got ready for school in her mothers prekindergarten classroom as had become the norm. She was having a great hair day. Because it was homecoming, she had free time and took the opportunity to come to her mothers classroom several times to hang out with the kids. That evening at the football game, Sarah worked in the concession stand in place of her mother, because she was ill. She had the opportunity to spread the miracle that was Sarah to many people that night. After the game she and Emily came to the car to touch base with their parents as they had plans for the rest of the night. She had on a football jersey and denim shorts and her hair was waving in the wind. As she ran across the street, there was a headlight shining on her. She yelled, love you She never looked more beautiful and then she was gone. She sent her love to the world one more time with the most beautiful purple sunset the following night.
Sarah will be celebrated at the Blackwell High School Auditorium at 2:00 pm on Wednesday, September 28, 2011. We ask that you wear purple. She will be laid to rest at the I.O.O.F. cemetery in Ponca City next to her grandfather. Arrangements are under the direction of Grace Memorial Chapel. Casket bearers will be her special friends Kisen Sharp, Trenton Anderson, Robert Neumayer, her brotherinlaw Mitchell Hadley, and cousins, Tyler Jeffries, and Blake Holmes. Honorary casket bearers will be the Defending State Champion DCLA Eagle Football team, Jacob Pillsbury Massey, Mike Anderson, Bennett Shipley, Mariella Sanchez, Kayla Hillhouse, Kalli Alley, Kore Chapman, Austin Neufield, Michael Brown, Eric Simpson, Clint Arnold and Kodi Burns. In addition, her teachers at DCLA who had created a magical place where she could finally find peace: Doug Sinor, Kelly Riddle, Kelly Ridgeway, Jared Johnson, Janice Wilkerson, Michael Thompson, Chad Hutchinson, and David Zachary.
She is survived by her heartbroken family, parents Larry and Lorrie Desbien, her sisters Caroline Elizabeth Neumayer Hadley, Emily Jane Ray, Jennifer Suzanne Ray, and Chanda Prater, her brother Justin Gene Ray her brothersinlaw Ben Prater and Mitchell Hadley, and her grandmother who was so precious to her, Virgie Holmes. She also loved and admired her special uncle, Capt Ronnie Holmes, Jr. a flight surgeon currently serving at FOB Sarana, Afghanistan her father Anthony Ray and paternal grandparents Ocie and Sue Ray.
Welcoming her to Heaven, are her grandfather, Ron Holmes, Sr. and her grandmother Charlotte Desbien.
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